...On Bacon, Teenagers, and MP3 Players

My goodness it's been a long time since I posted! I'm not even going to bother with excuses. I have lots going on but so does everyone and we make time for the things we want to make time for. So...I'm baaaaaack!

• The Bacon Explosion

Oh my! This may be the greatest culinary concoction I've ever seen. Way to rich and unhealthy to be had more than once in a great while, but worth every bite when that great while rolls around. I'll link it in a sec, but just let me tell you that it's a pound of chopped bacon wrapped in two pounds of sausage which is wrapped in another pound of bacon strips. The whole thing is smoked on a grill and then slathered with BBQ sauce. WOOHOO!!!!!

http://www.bbqaddicts.com/bacon-explosion.html

• Teenagers

If you have teenagers at your house, I feel your pain and your pride. If you have kids who aren't teenagers yet, you have no idea at all what you are in store for in a few years. If you have no kids at all, you may not get what I'm going to tell you but just roll with me.

We have two of the little buggers, Zach is about to turn 15 and Rachel is a solid 12. Their father is an electronics junky so they both have just about every electronic device known to man. Zach games a lot on his Xbox 360. Rachel texts half of the free world on her cell phone while listening to music. They are both really solid kids and Suzanne and I are really proud to claim each of them.

But having teenagers reached a new level this month. You see, my son met his first girlfriend. Now, this girl isn't technically allowed to have boyfriends so they haven't talked on the phone much but text frequently. And this all happened in the weeks leading up to the winter formal at their high school. Soooo...Wednesday Zach and I got to go and rent him his first tux for the big dance. Seeing my boy, who is becoming more grown up by the second, trying on tuxedo jackets and picking shoes was a TRIP! Tomorrow night is the big night and I think his Mom and I have been more excited about it than he has been (or at least shown). So today when I get a call after school that this girl has (reluctantly, I understand) dumped him and going to the dance is off I was heart-broken for him. I guess the first tux/date/dance will have to wait a bit longer.

Such is a week in the life of a high schooler I suppose...

• MP3 Players

If you don't have one, you need one. If you do have one and it's an Apple, you need to seek Jesus and get a Zune! Nah, just kidding...

I asked for, and got, a 16 GB Zune for Christmas and I absolutely love it. Mine came with the FM transmitter car pack so I even get to listen to it in my truck which has no CD player. I knew I'd like listening to music on it and using the FM receiver in it to catch the sports talk station when I'm not near a stereo, but far and away my favorite feature of this thing is listening to podcasts. I had heard of podcasts but never paid much attention. I now know that I was missing out.

I subscribe to a Bible podcast, a daily devotional, and messages from three different churches (one in Australia). And there is a ton more out there! There are podcasts for every occasion and are of interest. Very cool stuff!

Alright, I suppose that's enough rambling for my first post in eons. Take care and I'll check in again very soon.

Yet Another Place To Point The Blame

If you've read through my blog or know me at all, you already know that I am not one to accept anyone placing blame where it doesn't belong and particularly not when it belongs on themselves. Try, if you will, to imagine my disgust today when I read an article in the Daily Oklahoman titled "Many Adults Suffer ADD Problems". Excuse me?

The article claims that 17 million American adults suffer from ADD. How do they know? How do you pin that number down? Judging by their criteria which includes:

Inattentiveness
Easily Distracted
Disorganized
Aggressive

....

I'm sorry, what was I saying?

That list of criteria goes on and on, but if you take even those four I listed then I'd say they seriously lowballed their number! How many people do you know (including yourself) who regularly exhibit at least a couple of those? Yeah, pretty much everyone.

The basis for this article is a book titled "Healing ADD: The Breakthrough Program That Allows You To See and Heal the 6 Types of ADD" by Daniel Amen, M.D. The problem, of course, is that since your already inattentive if you are ADD you will never get to the end of the title much less have the attention span required to read it!!!

I just don't buy it. I say that so many people exhibit these traits because it's the kind of society we have built for ourselves. We're constantly pulled in several directions at once. We are bombarded with information at such a rate I don't think it's possible to keep up with it all. The machine is raging out of control and noone knows who's driving. It's yet another label to put on it to give people an out. Can you see the possibilities here? "I am a severely ADD adult so I can't help it if I don't remember to pay my bills." "I can't help it that I shot the guy in the other car. I'm ADD and he was pissing me off!" Need I go on???

There are exceptions to every rule. I am not naive enough to think that there aren't people out there who truly do suffer to the point that they cannot participate in society without help. I would also be shocked if that number were 17 million. What I fear is that articles like this will only fuel the phenomenon in today's society where we seek to find any other place to put the blame for our behavior and actions than where it should be resting...on ourselves. People who really need help are most likely either going to see a doctor on their own or have a friend or loved one take them. The doctor should be the one to direct a course of treatment, not a book recommended by a newspaper reporter.

I'm inattentive at times. I've certainly been known to blow my top at people on the roads. There are times, and not always rare ones, that I exhibit pretty much every behavioral trait mentioned in that column. Let me assure you that I am NOT ADD anymore than I'm from China. I accept the responsibility for my actions and face the consequences, both good and bad, that come from my choices. My hope is that, someday, society will have a change of heart and stop accepting the placing of blame for personal behavior on things like ADD.

Time For Blast Off!

A month or so ago, I received an e-mail at work informing me that I could order tickets early to a show called "Blast". Having seen Blast before on TV, I decided to see about getting some tickets. Though they are fairly expensive, I ponied up for four so we could go and take the kids too.

For those of you who may not know what Blast is, it's a live performance show that utilizes elements from marching band, flag corps, drum corps, and dance. The end result is an incredible blend of sight and sound that takes you away from your cares for a couple of hours. Sometimes mellow, mostly upbeat, often funny, the show is unique and extremely entertaining.

I bought the tickets about a month in advance and told the kids about it. The response I got was pretty tame. They seemed happy about it but with no real idea about the show, they weren't what I would call excited. Over the next 30 days or so, not much was ever again said about it.

Then, Friday came and it was time to get dressed and go to dinner before heading downtown to the Civic Center for the show. The kids were starting to get excited, but mainly because it wouldn't be another "boring" Friday at home with Mom and Dad! Suzanne had to check her watch every five minutes during dinner in response to the kid's questioning when it was time to go to the theater. As we walked out of the restaurant and to the car, Rachel exclaimed "We are going to be late Daddy!"

The excitement that reached a peak as we were ushered into the theater to our seats quickly declined as the minutes waned leading up to show time. You see, we had gotten there about 20 minutes early! We were bordering on having a total meltdown with Rachel as the MC walked onto the stage. Showtime had arrived!

Blast opened with a rousing version of Bolero that gave us goosebumps and went on through a couple of additional numbers before coming to the number of the night...Battery Battle. Wow! The number starts with one drummer making us all laugh and showing off his skills, and what skills they were! It was a several minutes drumroll that consisted of him using both ends of his drumsticks, each of his fingers in turn, his elbow, his shoulder, and his ear! He even used the stand during one point.

As good as that was, then a second drummer came out and they proceeded to move all over stage faking a real fight and trading drumrolls the whole time. The kids were 100% into the program and we were all having a great time!

After intermission came the highlight of the night, though. I'm not sure what the the name of the number was, but it started with only one instrument and slowly built until the stage was so full of cast members that they spilled into the audience! To the time of a very upbeat tune, the cast went all around the crowd playing their instruments, high fiving, and shaking hands with the crowd. Rachel even got into the act dancing around and slapping fives with the cast members that came by!!!

After they finished the finale and bowed to the crowd, the entire drumline headed up the aisles, out of the theater, and into the concourse where they proceeded to usher the crowd out with a steady beating of their drums. They ended up playing another 5 minutes or so to the gathered crowd and then stayed to sign autographs and in general soak up the atmosphere.

As we exited the theater to pouring down, cold rain, nothing was going to soak our spirits. We had truly had a Blast!

No Inspiration

Wanted to post and make sure you all knew I hadn't forgotten to make a new column or anything. I just really haven't found the inspiration for a good post this week. I've started a couple and it was really more about me reaching for something humorous to post instead of really having something to say.

Rest assured, inspiration will surely hit soon and I'll have something relevant to post here. Sit tight!

I See Weird People

I feel a little bit like that kid from the movie "The Sixth Sense", except I'm seeing weird people instead of dead people.

Now, this is nothing new I know and I'm quite sure I'm not the only one seeing them...and I can only hope (futile I'm sure) that someone isn't looking at me and saying the same thing! It's just that the people who are celebrities for whatever reason and the people that get interviewed on the evening news or on news magazine shows just seem to get weirder and weirder. No concept of "normal", no perception of what reality is to most of us.

Driving in to work this morning, I hear on the radio that Tom Cruise is planning on eating the placenta from the recent birth of his baby. What?!?!?!?! A caller to the show went on to point out that this is common practice in many cultures around the world and is, in fact, a delicacy! You have GOT to be kidding me. I simply have no basis for wrapping my brain around this. What good is supposed to come of that? Why on earth would you want to eat that thing? It isn't food...it's a reproductive organ! Don't even get me started on Scientology...there is so much room for the discussion of weirdness there that I might overrun my word allotment for one post. Let me just try and sum it up by saying that it wouldn't surprise me if I heard one day that Scientologists were planning a moonlight party comprising of a healthy dose of arsenic laced Kool-Aid while waiting for the galactic warlords to come and and take them away while raining down their destruction on all of us non-believers.

What is it about becoming famous that you completely lose touch with reality? Is there nothing anymore that shocks us or repulses us? Have we come to an age where everything is acceptable if that's what it takes to avoid pissing anyone else in the world off? You have people doing things today that would have gotten them the gas chamber 30 years ago...and they get away with it! You have criminals who can now get away with claiming temporary insanity? Isn't murder, rape, or a variety of other abominable acts by definition insane???

Are people like me, who find the way people act anymore completely off the weird scale, the minorty now...making us the weird ones? Here are just a few more examples of things I find weird...see if you agree!

Why is it that after a tornado, hurricane, or some other natural phenomenon blows through town, the only people that the news reporters can find to interview are the ones with dirty shirts and no teeth?

Why is it that star athletes can get away with doing things that would put the rest of us in a cell next to a big man named Bubba for a very long time...but they get nothing more than a slap on the wrist and a start in their team's next game?

Why is that 99% of all "reality" shows on television have so little to do with reality as to render the entire genre ironic?

I suppose weirdnes is just a part of life and that what is weird to some will always be perfectly acceptable to others. Maybe it's just me...maybe it isn't getting worse. What do you think?

To Be Free Or Not To Be Free...

That is today's question.

We have nearly limitless freedoms in this country. Sometimes I think we may have too much freedom in some areas, but that's a more serious discussion than I intend to have today. What I'm specifically concerned with today are the personal freedom's athletes and celebrities are allowed to have and whether or not that's a good thing...and me being a sports nut, specifically personal freedoms in team sports.

Being a celebrity or athlete grants you something few of us normal people ever get to experience. They are afforded ample opportunities to air their thoughts and feelings in settings where many, many people will hear them. My question to you is...is this really a good thing? Now the immediate argument in favor would state that we normal people have just as much freedom to tune them out as we do to actually listen to what they have to say. Something akin to a jury being told to disregard something they've seen or heard in a courtroom. They are told they have a duty to disregard it, but do you think that ever really happens? I don't think it does and I don't see how I could not take that information into account when trying to form a verdict. So when a famous person stands in front of a camera with a microphone and starts pushing a personal agenda, doesn't it stand to reason that it will have at least a degree of impact on a good number of us?

Will there be people who just tune it out or disregard it? Sure. Will there be even more who consider it gospel simply because of the source? Most definitely. Finally, as information flows more and more freely, doesn't it stand to reason that more of us are thinking much less often for ourselves and instead allow famous people whom we don't even know to dictate our beliefs to us?

Alright, so now that I've gotten the serious stuff out of the way and maybe given you food for thought there...let's move on to the athletes and their culture.

Most athletes don't live in the real world. They make more money in a year than some of us will in our lifetimes. Their existence is on a completely different plane from most of us. They have huge homes, fancy cars, and a set of problems completely different from the rest of us. So, when athletes do something outside of normal gameplay to distinguish themselves, is that a good thing or a bad thing?

When Terrell Owens once upon a time scored a touchdown in Dallas and proceeded to run to midfield and start celebrating on the big star, was that harmless fun, juvenile showboating, just plain wrong, or all of the above? When the first basketball player started the throat slashing gesture or extremely loud yell after a dunk, was that spur of the moment jubilation that was poorly executed or maliciously exclaming thier superiority? When a baseball player hits what he knows is a homerun and stands at homeplate eyeballing the pitcher and soaking it all in, is that reveling in the moment or making themselves look good at someone else's expense?

When does it all get to be too much? When does personal freedom go to far?

The NFL is cracking down again on celebrations because they've turned into planned happenings complete with props and non-team member participants. The NBA long ago outlawed the throat slash because it's just plain wrong (shame the players didn't understand that for themselves, isn't it?), and has even determined that players are not allowed to wear tights on court because it singles them out against the other players. Are these measures too harsh? Is it harmless fun or is it crossing moral and/or societal lines?

Personally, I don't think you should go out of your way to call attention to yourself when playing a team game. I don't think you should ever single yourself out over someone else in a way that is hurtful or malicious. I think it's great to celebrate when you do something worth celebrating (ie. hitting the winning shot or scoring the touchdown to put your team in the playoffs). I also think it's pretty cool when megastars like Barry Sanders or Marvin Harrison simply toss the ball to the official. I think it's neat when the fans are allowed to be a part of the celebration like the do with the Lambeau Leap in Green Bay. To me, you cross the line when you celebrate in the face of your opponent, call attention to their failure, or go out of your way to show the world how special you think you are.

I want to hear what you think...which side of the line do you fall on? Am I right on the money or am I just too old school and set in my ways when it comes to matters of personal freedom?

So What If I Don't Want To Make Lemonade???

You've all heard the saying and most of you have probably even uttered it at some point in your life...

"When life gives you lemons, make lemonade!"

Hell, I'm guilty of using it in the past. Today however, it sounds like the biggest bunch of cheery-assed bullshit I've ever heard. I'm not a happy person. I know usually I have some sort of positive message to throw out there, but today you get to hear my bitch (though I'm sure there is a silver lining there somewhere).

You see, the past 24 hours of my life has sucked. To ensure that you know that I am keeping this in perspective, I do realize that there are more layers of suck than there are in an onion and my current suck level is nowhere near as bad as it could be. Truly, I still have so much in life to celebrate and be thankful for but I also believe that clearing the air is a worthwhile endeavor from time to time. If nothing else, it helps you get it all out and get back to a place where you can start appreciating the good things again. And now for my story...

It all started last night. I was hanging with my buds on Xbox Live and just chilling out in preparation for bedtime. As I'm sitting there having a nice conversation, a hear a very loud pop immediately followed by my TV and laptop both blinking off. Now, before I go further you need to know that they are on completely seperate plugs on opposite sides of the room and also that the Xbox and stereo receiver are on the same strip as the TV but never even flinched. So as this freak power surge or whatever it was left it's mark, my TV slowly started to come back on and eventually the tube returned to it's regular state. My laptop however looked to be quite fried. It wouldn't power up at all and I couldn't get the battery out of it either. Long story short, I finally got it to power back up only to smell that horrible smell signifying burning electronics and my mouse (plugged in USB) decided not to work. Today, the smell is gone and the laptop seems mostly OK albeit not pushed at all just yet, but I have no USB at all...it's fried. Not good considering I use USB for my mouse, my backups, and my movie capture card. I'm basically screwed there for the time being until I can figure out if and how it might be repaired.

So that was bad, but not end of the world and not nearly enough to have me this pissed, right? Right.

I was doing a decent job of moving on from that when my cell phone rang at 8:10 this morning. It was my wife and she never calls then so I knew it was something bad. Turns out our dog...our 10 year old dog who's been with us the entire time we've lived in our house and is almost as old as our daughter...had decided that he didn't WANT to come inside this morning when it was time for her to go to work and, in fact, decided that it was worth it to him to turn around and bit the shit out of her. Bit both of her hands which of course scared the crap out of her. NOW I was pissed. He's been a great dog and we all love him very much, but he's old and has gotten progressively grumpy with our little dogs over the past few months. Still, he never showed his teeth to anyone in the family but me, and that was only in times when he was in trouble and felt scared (he never liked being yelled at much). So I come rushing home to find him, well, the only word for it is crazed. Out of control. Not good.

After checking on Suzanne's hands and making sure they weren't broken and that she was fine, we got him inside and calmed down but there is no way in hell I'm letting him be around my kids or anyone else's like that. No way at all. No choice but to have him put down.

Ready for the clincher?

We get to do this on the same fucking day that my son is having a birthday sleepover party with his friends from school. We get to not only deal with losing a much loved pet...no, member of the family. Nah, that just isn't enough pain, right? No. We have to bring our children home from school and break the news that their dog has to be killed. Yeah, take that lemonade and shove it right up your ass!

So here I sit, writing this and trying to find the room in my head to let my faith regain control and start to remember the positives again...and it just isn't working. I want to beat the crap out of something. I want to go drink myself under a table somewhere. I want to cry. Sure, I could handle it on my own. I could probably even help manage Suzanne's grief together with her. But having to tell my children something like this and help them put it into perspective for them and then somehow get my son to flip a switch and have a good time, well that might just be asking too much. While he's acting like he's having a good time, he mentions the fact that his dog is dying tonight regularly and I know the smile is only a cover. Me? I'm left to sit and stew with it. Lemonade? Not tonight I'm afraid.

Maybe tomorrow...