You've all heard the saying and most of you have probably even uttered it at some point in your life...
"When life gives you lemons, make lemonade!"
Hell, I'm guilty of using it in the past. Today however, it sounds like the biggest bunch of cheery-assed bullshit I've ever heard. I'm not a happy person. I know usually I have some sort of positive message to throw out there, but today you get to hear my bitch (though I'm sure there is a silver lining there somewhere).
You see, the past 24 hours of my life has sucked. To ensure that you know that I am keeping this in perspective, I do realize that there are more layers of suck than there are in an onion and my current suck level is nowhere near as bad as it could be. Truly, I still have so much in life to celebrate and be thankful for but I also believe that clearing the air is a worthwhile endeavor from time to time. If nothing else, it helps you get it all out and get back to a place where you can start appreciating the good things again. And now for my story...
It all started last night. I was hanging with my buds on Xbox Live and just chilling out in preparation for bedtime. As I'm sitting there having a nice conversation, a hear a very loud pop immediately followed by my TV and laptop both blinking off. Now, before I go further you need to know that they are on completely seperate plugs on opposite sides of the room and also that the Xbox and stereo receiver are on the same strip as the TV but never even flinched. So as this freak power surge or whatever it was left it's mark, my TV slowly started to come back on and eventually the tube returned to it's regular state. My laptop however looked to be quite fried. It wouldn't power up at all and I couldn't get the battery out of it either. Long story short, I finally got it to power back up only to smell that horrible smell signifying burning electronics and my mouse (plugged in USB) decided not to work. Today, the smell is gone and the laptop seems mostly OK albeit not pushed at all just yet, but I have no USB at all...it's fried. Not good considering I use USB for my mouse, my backups, and my movie capture card. I'm basically screwed there for the time being until I can figure out if and how it might be repaired.
So that was bad, but not end of the world and not nearly enough to have me this pissed, right? Right.
I was doing a decent job of moving on from that when my cell phone rang at 8:10 this morning. It was my wife and she never calls then so I knew it was something bad. Turns out our dog...our 10 year old dog who's been with us the entire time we've lived in our house and is almost as old as our daughter...had decided that he didn't WANT to come inside this morning when it was time for her to go to work and, in fact, decided that it was worth it to him to turn around and bit the shit out of her. Bit both of her hands which of course scared the crap out of her. NOW I was pissed. He's been a great dog and we all love him very much, but he's old and has gotten progressively grumpy with our little dogs over the past few months. Still, he never showed his teeth to anyone in the family but me, and that was only in times when he was in trouble and felt scared (he never liked being yelled at much). So I come rushing home to find him, well, the only word for it is crazed. Out of control. Not good.
After checking on Suzanne's hands and making sure they weren't broken and that she was fine, we got him inside and calmed down but there is no way in hell I'm letting him be around my kids or anyone else's like that. No way at all. No choice but to have him put down.
Ready for the clincher?
We get to do this on the same fucking day that my son is having a birthday sleepover party with his friends from school. We get to not only deal with losing a much loved pet...no, member of the family. Nah, that just isn't enough pain, right? No. We have to bring our children home from school and break the news that their dog has to be killed. Yeah, take that lemonade and shove it right up your ass!
So here I sit, writing this and trying to find the room in my head to let my faith regain control and start to remember the positives again...and it just isn't working. I want to beat the crap out of something. I want to go drink myself under a table somewhere. I want to cry. Sure, I could handle it on my own. I could probably even help manage Suzanne's grief together with her. But having to tell my children something like this and help them put it into perspective for them and then somehow get my son to flip a switch and have a good time, well that might just be asking too much. While he's acting like he's having a good time, he mentions the fact that his dog is dying tonight regularly and I know the smile is only a cover. Me? I'm left to sit and stew with it. Lemonade? Not tonight I'm afraid.
Maybe tomorrow...
3.25.2006
Perception Is 9/10 Of The Law
Have you ever been to magic show or seen one on TV? When the magician makes the pretty girl disappear or cuts her in half or any of a number of other illusions it seems real, doesn't it? I mean, you have the knowledge that it's an illusion so you know that it didn't really happen like you saw it and that's what makes it so much fun...the art of trying to figure out how you were deceived, right?
How often have you been told something that ended up really not being the truth at all? I'm betting that 99% of the time, the person who gave you the bad information believed it as truth. And the person that told them believed it as truth. What happens is sometimes we don't listen very closely when we're told something or we don't remember it quite right. We then relay what we think is accurate information to the next person, and on and on it goes. That is how things get warped so far out of shape that noone knows what the original story really was anymore. Pastor Craig at Lifechurch has a saying that I really love. "A lie believed as truth will affect you as though it were true", he says. It's a profound and powerful, well, truth! I have taken that and come up with my own little saying...Perception is nine tenths of the law. In other words, what you perceive to be true will have the exact impact of a solid truth on your life whether it is true or not.
Of course, it never will realistically happen that we never get a story wrong...so this problem will never go away. How on earth to deal with it then?
Don't Believe Everything You Hear
Often with a little bit of thought and common sense, you can get to the real truth. Sometimes it means going back to the source of a conversation for clarification. Sometimes it means doing a little independant research of your own to make the determination. The point is, even when it comes from a trustworthy source, it is important to remember how easily things get twisted around and to always try and make sure it's right before you act on it or store it away as truth and pass it along.
Fall Back On Your Faith
If you happen to be a person without any faith, this is a real problem. I would humbly and firmly suggest that you give it an honest try. For the rest of us, use your faith!!! Most of you reading this are going to be Christians, but even if you aren't, your faith in a higher power by whatever name you give it will work. Use the truth that is found there to determine how likely the things you see and hear each day are actual truths. My faith in God allows me the freedom to examine everything and see if it falls in line with that faith. Constant examination of your world will leave far less room for the lies to sneak through.
Temper Your Words
This one probably has the most potential to do the most good. By being careful about what you let come out of your mouth (or hands), you can at least be sure that anything that comes to you in a twisted fashion doesn't move any further down the line. So before you give advice, tell a story, or otherwise pass things along to others, take a minute and make sure that your information is correct that your motives for what you are doing are pure.
Remember, the world will do it's damnedest to pull the wool over your eyes...and it will come from the people you know and trust more often than not, the people in your innermost circle. They don't even realize they are doing it. Don't believe everything you hear, fall back on your faith, and temper your words, and you will find that the perception you carry of your world will change in significant ways.
How often have you been told something that ended up really not being the truth at all? I'm betting that 99% of the time, the person who gave you the bad information believed it as truth. And the person that told them believed it as truth. What happens is sometimes we don't listen very closely when we're told something or we don't remember it quite right. We then relay what we think is accurate information to the next person, and on and on it goes. That is how things get warped so far out of shape that noone knows what the original story really was anymore. Pastor Craig at Lifechurch has a saying that I really love. "A lie believed as truth will affect you as though it were true", he says. It's a profound and powerful, well, truth! I have taken that and come up with my own little saying...Perception is nine tenths of the law. In other words, what you perceive to be true will have the exact impact of a solid truth on your life whether it is true or not.
Of course, it never will realistically happen that we never get a story wrong...so this problem will never go away. How on earth to deal with it then?
Don't Believe Everything You Hear
Often with a little bit of thought and common sense, you can get to the real truth. Sometimes it means going back to the source of a conversation for clarification. Sometimes it means doing a little independant research of your own to make the determination. The point is, even when it comes from a trustworthy source, it is important to remember how easily things get twisted around and to always try and make sure it's right before you act on it or store it away as truth and pass it along.
Fall Back On Your Faith
If you happen to be a person without any faith, this is a real problem. I would humbly and firmly suggest that you give it an honest try. For the rest of us, use your faith!!! Most of you reading this are going to be Christians, but even if you aren't, your faith in a higher power by whatever name you give it will work. Use the truth that is found there to determine how likely the things you see and hear each day are actual truths. My faith in God allows me the freedom to examine everything and see if it falls in line with that faith. Constant examination of your world will leave far less room for the lies to sneak through.
Temper Your Words
This one probably has the most potential to do the most good. By being careful about what you let come out of your mouth (or hands), you can at least be sure that anything that comes to you in a twisted fashion doesn't move any further down the line. So before you give advice, tell a story, or otherwise pass things along to others, take a minute and make sure that your information is correct that your motives for what you are doing are pure.
Remember, the world will do it's damnedest to pull the wool over your eyes...and it will come from the people you know and trust more often than not, the people in your innermost circle. They don't even realize they are doing it. Don't believe everything you hear, fall back on your faith, and temper your words, and you will find that the perception you carry of your world will change in significant ways.
3.18.2006
The Nature Of Learning
As promised in my last entry, I'm going to go more in depth about my son, his grades, and what I've come to believe about how we learn.
Zach is about to turn 12 and he is as sharp as a tack. He's such a cool kid to sit down and talk to! He has an opinion about pretty much everything and it's usually at least a somewhat informed one. He's good at math, loves science, and can play hammer out tunes by ear on the harmonica, piano, or guitar...and this despite never having a formal lesson on any of them. Sounds like an intelligent kid, right? So how on earth could a kid like Zach be failing sixth grade? When I say failing, I don't mean that he just isn't doing well. No, I mean failing. He currently owns four F's out of six classes, including math and science!
Again, how on earth could this kid be failing so miserably at school???
First A Little Background
Zach having grade trouble first started showing itself in 3rd grade. He had a particularly demanding teacher that year and regularly had work missing or not 100% completed. We sent him to school with a full set of supplies only to hear that, less than 30 days into the school year, he had lost all of his pencils. His desk was just crammed full of old kleenex, wadded up papers, and lots of other things. His teacher hinted that we should have him tested for ADD or ADHD. Now, anyone who's ever spent 30 minutes with my son will tell you that there has never been a clearer cut case of a child not being either of those things. We rejected that immediately and, instead, focused on his organizational skills.
Throughout third grade, fourth grade, and the beginning of fifth grade we had more of the same. We tried everything to get him more organized and to be responsible for himself. We begged his teachers to not let him just make missing work up with no penalty. For the whole time, we could always sit down and talk with him about what they were learning in class and without fail he could talk intelligently about it. His grades always came out alright despite these problems because his teachers have always cared about him and loved having him in their classes. Basically, they cut him breaks all of this time because he's such a good kid. It was like watching a train barreling down the tracks straight at us...we knew sooner or later it was going to run us over.
And Then Came Sixth Grade
When we went to middle school orientation for sixth grade parents, we were told up front that it was going to be a different experience. We were told that our children would struggle through the first part of the year as they would now be having to migrate from class to class every hour, would no longer be allowed to carry a backpack or any type of bag with them, and would basically be responsible for themselves. In other words, the hand-holding was about to stop.
What we didn't realize was that the school staff was going to go completely to the opposite extreme from what the elementary staff had done. It's almost like they don't really care at times. Friends of Zach's who have always been straight A students are now C students. Others who have always done decent but not great (like Zach) are now failing or close to it. It hasn't gotten better as promised in the orientation and the staff doesn't seem likely to ease up on them at all.
We recently called for a meeting with the principal and all of Zach's teachers. We wanted to talk more about why his grades are still just as poor and see what we can do about it. What we got from them was that Zach is a well behaved boy who mostly pays attention in class but sometimes has trouble remembering to put his name on his papers. Apparently, this is something the entire sixth grade has trouble with which results in their poor grades as the teachers just count a zero and toss the nameless papers aside. I'm the first one to say that these kids should know to put their name on their papers, but they've been reminded and babied along about it in elementary school so isn't this to be expected? Couldn't the sixth graders be weened off of that without just failing them?
The Nature Of Learning
I've come to change my thinking about how we learn. I know it isn't an earth shattering revelation or anything, but I never realized before how many different ways there are in which people learn things. I never understood how much impact a child's environment has on their ability to learn. Some kids are very independant and will learn just about anything simply by reading a book. Others do well if you sit down in a one on one environment and explain things to them where they are free to ask questions. Others do better in a group where they can just sit back and listen to other's questions. Yet others only truly learn by experience (ie. failure).
The bottom line I think is this...you are only going to learn something when you are interested in learning it. Thinking back to my school days, there was much that I memorized long enough to take a test on it only to forget it shortly thereafter. Then there were the things that really interested me that I truly learned and carry with me to this day.
The challenge in public schools to effectively teach rooms full of kids that are all going to learn things differently. Is this really a recipe for success? Could this be a contributing factor to why more and more kids are being home schooled or sent to private schools?
We are seriously considering home schooling Zach. Some initial research into it on the internet has returned a wealth of information. There are literally hundreds of support groups, sites with curriculums and information, and forums dealing with all things home school.
Given that our kids are increasingly exposed to the worst that the world has to offer, that we have no control over what they are exposed to while they are at school, and that there are so many varieties of methods of learning, it seems reasonable to me that this is a legitimate and viable alternative to public school for kids who aren't learning well at school and whose parents can't afford a private school where kids can get more individualized teaching.
Zach is about to turn 12 and he is as sharp as a tack. He's such a cool kid to sit down and talk to! He has an opinion about pretty much everything and it's usually at least a somewhat informed one. He's good at math, loves science, and can play hammer out tunes by ear on the harmonica, piano, or guitar...and this despite never having a formal lesson on any of them. Sounds like an intelligent kid, right? So how on earth could a kid like Zach be failing sixth grade? When I say failing, I don't mean that he just isn't doing well. No, I mean failing. He currently owns four F's out of six classes, including math and science!
Again, how on earth could this kid be failing so miserably at school???
First A Little Background
Zach having grade trouble first started showing itself in 3rd grade. He had a particularly demanding teacher that year and regularly had work missing or not 100% completed. We sent him to school with a full set of supplies only to hear that, less than 30 days into the school year, he had lost all of his pencils. His desk was just crammed full of old kleenex, wadded up papers, and lots of other things. His teacher hinted that we should have him tested for ADD or ADHD. Now, anyone who's ever spent 30 minutes with my son will tell you that there has never been a clearer cut case of a child not being either of those things. We rejected that immediately and, instead, focused on his organizational skills.
Throughout third grade, fourth grade, and the beginning of fifth grade we had more of the same. We tried everything to get him more organized and to be responsible for himself. We begged his teachers to not let him just make missing work up with no penalty. For the whole time, we could always sit down and talk with him about what they were learning in class and without fail he could talk intelligently about it. His grades always came out alright despite these problems because his teachers have always cared about him and loved having him in their classes. Basically, they cut him breaks all of this time because he's such a good kid. It was like watching a train barreling down the tracks straight at us...we knew sooner or later it was going to run us over.
And Then Came Sixth Grade
When we went to middle school orientation for sixth grade parents, we were told up front that it was going to be a different experience. We were told that our children would struggle through the first part of the year as they would now be having to migrate from class to class every hour, would no longer be allowed to carry a backpack or any type of bag with them, and would basically be responsible for themselves. In other words, the hand-holding was about to stop.
What we didn't realize was that the school staff was going to go completely to the opposite extreme from what the elementary staff had done. It's almost like they don't really care at times. Friends of Zach's who have always been straight A students are now C students. Others who have always done decent but not great (like Zach) are now failing or close to it. It hasn't gotten better as promised in the orientation and the staff doesn't seem likely to ease up on them at all.
We recently called for a meeting with the principal and all of Zach's teachers. We wanted to talk more about why his grades are still just as poor and see what we can do about it. What we got from them was that Zach is a well behaved boy who mostly pays attention in class but sometimes has trouble remembering to put his name on his papers. Apparently, this is something the entire sixth grade has trouble with which results in their poor grades as the teachers just count a zero and toss the nameless papers aside. I'm the first one to say that these kids should know to put their name on their papers, but they've been reminded and babied along about it in elementary school so isn't this to be expected? Couldn't the sixth graders be weened off of that without just failing them?
The Nature Of Learning
I've come to change my thinking about how we learn. I know it isn't an earth shattering revelation or anything, but I never realized before how many different ways there are in which people learn things. I never understood how much impact a child's environment has on their ability to learn. Some kids are very independant and will learn just about anything simply by reading a book. Others do well if you sit down in a one on one environment and explain things to them where they are free to ask questions. Others do better in a group where they can just sit back and listen to other's questions. Yet others only truly learn by experience (ie. failure).
The bottom line I think is this...you are only going to learn something when you are interested in learning it. Thinking back to my school days, there was much that I memorized long enough to take a test on it only to forget it shortly thereafter. Then there were the things that really interested me that I truly learned and carry with me to this day.
The challenge in public schools to effectively teach rooms full of kids that are all going to learn things differently. Is this really a recipe for success? Could this be a contributing factor to why more and more kids are being home schooled or sent to private schools?
We are seriously considering home schooling Zach. Some initial research into it on the internet has returned a wealth of information. There are literally hundreds of support groups, sites with curriculums and information, and forums dealing with all things home school.
Given that our kids are increasingly exposed to the worst that the world has to offer, that we have no control over what they are exposed to while they are at school, and that there are so many varieties of methods of learning, it seems reasonable to me that this is a legitimate and viable alternative to public school for kids who aren't learning well at school and whose parents can't afford a private school where kids can get more individualized teaching.
3.07.2006
State of the GSZR
Yeah, I know...I KNOW. It's been about three full weeks since my last post. I apologize, really I do! I have good reasons if you will let me just explain, k?
Things have been sort of hectic and very much up in the air at the Wild house lately. I finally have my wife mostly recovered from her surgery and back at work so things are actually almost back to routine there. Beyond that, stability is a precious commodity. Check it out:
Things have been sort of hectic and very much up in the air at the Wild house lately. I finally have my wife mostly recovered from her surgery and back at work so things are actually almost back to routine there. Beyond that, stability is a precious commodity. Check it out:
- Work. I'm in the middle of a very large project that when finally completed will have spanned more than a calendar year. Where I am right now I am trying to finish up some tasks with a pretty hard deadline, having to work on testing all of my stuff for a new back-end system release, preparing for some required hardware and software upgrades that include a radical reconfiguration of our environment, and I'm getting hammered by our business units for some minor fixes here and there that must be scheduled around everything else. Nothing I can't handle, just makes me very busy and eats into what had become my normal blog posting time on my morning breaks.
- My son's grades. I will write much more about this soon (maybe tomorrow) but for now, just understand that his grades suck, we aren't real sure how much support we're getting from his teachers to get him help, and we are seriously considering home schooling him indefinitely after this year.
- Church. While I'm extremely excited about what God is doing in my and my family's lives right now, it's still a little stressful. I have taken on a role in which I get to help lead some small group bible study leaders. It's not too terribly time consuming and I enjoy it, but when you add that to the fact that our church is starting a new campus soon and that Suzanne and I feel called to go and help out in getting it started, well, it requires some definite time to give thought to it.
- Finances. We have been fighting hard to get ourselves debt free. It takes time, effort, and discipline...all things I've been known to lack! Well, I'm happy to report we've just managed to knock a serious friggin' hole in it...our bills are about to go from 12 to 3. We will be able to accelerate everything, including paying off our house about 3 years ahead of schedule.
So, you see...there are good reasons why I just haven't found the energy to post more regularly. It wouldn't be fair to you, my readers, for me to be spitting out a bunch of crap just for the sake of posting. I wouldn't feel good about not posting something entertaining or thought provoking, so I just haven't posted at all. All of the things I mentioned will be settling down to some degree now, so I anticipate being much more regular with my posts. I would expect to find something to talk about at least a couple of times per week. Thank you for being patient and for replying when you've read something worthwhile and be sure to keep checking back regularly!
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